My dad passed away recently, and his memorial service was this weekend. I am grateful to have had my dad as a father, hopefully the tribute I wrote and read to him does his memory justice.
Hi everyone, for those that don’t know me, my name is Mike Hong, and I am Seung Hong’s elder son. Thank you all for coming to this memorial service to remember my dad and celebrate his life.
There is a Korean phrase 부모 잘 만났다. Literally translated it means it’s good you met your parents, or you are lucky to have met your parents. I always thought that was kind of a weird saying, after all we don’t really remember meeting our parents, our memories really don’t go back that far to the day we’re born. But I will say that I am lucky to have the dad that I had, and I am sure there are many people who would say that they are lucky to have met my dad.
To many people who met my dad, my dad was their handyman of choice. It seemed like he could fix anything. Whether there were house problems, car problems, or broken appliances, my dad fixed them all. When my dad first immigrated to the United States he bought an appliance repair company. That didn’t really work out that well, so he found a job working for the city of San Francisco, first working for the City College of San Francisco as a stationary engineer, and eventually rising to chief engineer of a San Francisco Fire Department pumping station. Even while working full time for the city, he worked on the side repairing appliances for many Korean businesses. He was a hero to the Korean community in San Francisco, repairing deli shop refrigerators, restaurant walk in coolers and doughnut shop mixers for many Korean businesses in the SF bay area.
This sounds like the kind of dad who wouldn’t have time for his family, but nothing could be further from the truth. My dad was always the dad who volunteered to drive on school field trips and show up to kids sports games, even helping to coach some teams. Somehow he was able to arrange his schedule so that he could drop off or pick up from school when we needed a ride. And there were many afternoons after school where we went to the park to play tennis or basketball with my dad. I have many fond memories of trips to Tahoe to ski in winter and camp near a hot spring in summer. And whenever any relatives visited from Korea my dad was the consummate host, showing off the beauty of this land America we lived in by taking the family on long road trips to national parks like Yosemite, Yellowstone or Crater Lake. Even after my brother and I were adults he would always be available to help us fix anything in our car or in our house that needed repair. In short my brother and I were lucky to have my dad because he was the dad who seemed to always be available.
My dad retired from working with the city relatively early and continued working as a stationary engineer in San Francisco, working for various companies like the Holiday Inn hotel and Standard Sheet Metal. After he retired for the final time and especially after my brother got married my dad focused a lot of his time on fixing me. He encouraged me to finish my schooling and go back for an MBA, but mostly he focused on making sure I got married, setting me up on blind dates. He kinda even bribed me to go, giving money to spend on these dates. I didn’t really take it seriously at the time, so I almost made a game of how little I could spend. After he exhausted his network he even went to the point of signing me up for a Korean dating site, I didn’t learn until later that it cost thousands of dollars.
I know he was extremely happy when out of the blue I told him that I was planning to get married, and was extremely happy to have met my then fiance Go Eun. We went on a Christmas trip with Go Eun’s family to Las Vegas in 2021 and not long afterwards my dad suffered a severe stroke, just the day before New Years eve in 2021. From that point on my dad was paralyzed on his left side, and had to be on a feeding tube. As we were transitioning him down to Southern California to be closer to where my brother and I had moved, he moved through several different ERs and nursing homes. This was during the Covid pandemic when it was difficult to visit him, and during one of the nursing home stays he caught Covid and pneumonia. He was put on a ventilator, and while he eventually recovered from Covid and pneumonia his condition grew worse. He eventually moved home with my mom as primary caregiver, and he lived mostly bed-ridden until he passed on January 12, 2026. I wish my dad had more time to spend with Go Eun and with Joey, my son. I know he would have been a great father in law and an awesome grandfather to them.
For much of my life my dad prided himself on being the strong fixer that others came to for help. My dad seemed to be able to fix anything, but he could not fix the frailty and weakness that comes from being human. He had heard the gospel from various family members and friends but never believed. It was not until after his stroke that my dad came to accept Christ. He heard the gospel from a Korean nurse during one of his ER stays. I am reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9 that says “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” And so because of the grace of God my dad heard the gospel from an unnamed nurse who I will forever be grateful to, and he accepted Christ as his savior. And I am also thankful for Pastor Frank who visited my dad during one of his ER stays and confirmed his salvation, and later visited him and prayed with my dad the day before his passing.
I am so thankful that because he accepted Christ we have hope that we can see my dad again in heaven. So I conclude with the last words my son Joey said to my dad– “See you halabuji…” I don’t know if it’s because my son is wiser than his years – probably not, he’s two, so he probably doesn’t yet understand the gospel. But yet somehow he picked the best possible farewell. So I will end with the same words.
“See you dad. Take care until we meet again in heaven.”
Leave a Reply